Which Penis Size Is Better: Showers vs Growers?

 About Men  64 Responses »
Aug 122010
 

According to the Kinsey Institute, the average erect, adult penis size is 5 to 6 1/2 inches. “Showers” are the same size flaccid or erect. “Growers” are typically 1 – 4 inches flaccid but — when they’re hard — they grow. I’m a straight woman, and I really like penetration. So, here’s where the calculations come in. Go Ask Alice, Columbia University’s sexual health site, says the average vaginal depth is 3 to 4 inches. But, we know the cervix and uterus rise during arousal — thus lengthening the lady canal an inch or two. Get it? Whip out your calculators and rulers. For the straight folks: shove a 5 – 6.5 inch erect penis inside a 5 – 6.5 (or so) inch aroused vagina. It’s a near perfect match. Waaaay too many heterosexual men worry about penis size. For the most part, most guys are juuuust right.

it is not a banana

So, here’s the question, given the end result for “showers” and “growers” is roughly the same size (and fits comfortably into most vaginas), which would you rather — a “shower” who lets you know exactly what to expect or a “grower” who whips out a compact tool that surprises you with a BAM once it’s hard? My preference? I like both. Two of the biggest men I’ve ever been with were showers. They were long, thick, hard and delicious. That said, I’m also a fan of growers because I enjoy gawking at the physicality of arousal. Growers turn me on as I tug, squeeze, lick and suck them until they swell into big, hard, muscular fucking machines. What’s your preference? Or, if you’re one of the earth’s bedicked creatures, tell us: Which are you? A shower or a grower? (Psst! It’s okay. We’re all friends here; you can tell us. It will be our little secret.)

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Banana image by street artist -eko- (based on René Magritte’s “The Treachery of Images”)

5 Tips: Oral Sex Performed on the Penis

 Relationships  12 Responses »
Feb 232010
 

I’m currently reading Manhood: The Rise and Fall of the Penis, and it includes tons of interesting facts about castration, testicles, sperm, the penis, the prostate and many other manly topics. Seriously, it’s amazing how much fun stuff Mels van Driel shares about pee pees. From his chapter titled The Penis, I’ve learned only 8% of harden to completely vertical shafts when erect. I also learned men frequently used to share their balls, testicular transplants were commonplace in the late 1800s / early 1900s. So far, Manhood is a fun read. There’s even a section called “The smell of the scrotum.” I’ll probably write a book review for a future Manly Monday. In the meantime, since we all love penises such much around here, why not talk about giving them pleasure?

I didn’t know how to perform oral sex properly until one of my exes — a bisexual man with many many years of dick slurping experience — showed me how. Though I haven’t doled the full treatment to every lover I’ve gone down on, those who’ve received it haven’t complained. But, then again, would ANY guy ever seriously complain about receiving a blow job? Not sure. Anyway. Whether you’re a person who puts them in your mouth or someone who has one attached to you (or both), please feel free to use the comments section to share your oral sex tips. What feels good? What feels bad? What works? What doesn’t?

Manly Monday: Foreskins and Penises

 Manly Mondays  24 Responses »
Oct 272008
 

I had a brief summer fling with an uncircumcised dude several months ago. I don’t like calling it a “fling” because it makes it seem like I took the whole thing really casually. I didn’t. I actually liked the guy a lot. He was tall, attractive, sweet and genuinely a really interesting guy. He was the first guy I’d ever hooked up with who “got” the whole internet / online / blogging thing. It was one of those situations where you meet someone, and you feel like they already “understand” you — even though you’re practically strangers. You know?

Plus, he had a beautiful penis. The skin was really smooth & uniform in color and texture. He didn’t have really large veins crawling throughout along the surface. He got hard as a rock when he was turned on; it was so long he actually tapped my cervix. And, he was uncircumcised. I’ve developed a slight preference for unsnipped cockadoodledoos because most of my ex-boyfriends and lovers have been Spanish, French, French Canadian, Mexican, Danish and other non-Americans. (Sure, I’ve dated white, Latino and black American dudes, too. But, there’s always something, you know, “missing.” I’m convinced it’s the foreskins and frenula.) Anyway. In the shower together, the fling (past lover? short-term affair?) asked me what size his penis was. “Oh,” I assured him, “you’re big.” His response was, “I guess that’s good to know. I don’t really have a point of reference because I don’t see other men’s penises.”

Straight men typically only see other penises up close and personal when watching porn; so they get “reality checks” from women. “I don’t know if I have a nice looking penis, wondered if you could tell me,” writes a Funky Brown Chick reader who shall remain nameless. “[I]ts not something that comes up when I am having sex. I’ll send you a pic if you dont mind telling me.” I figured: what the hell. I emailed him: “Send me a picture and I’ll let my readers tell you what they think.” He wrote me back. Here’s the photo. [NSFW.] Please share your thoughts. I’ll write more about circumcision tomorrow. In the meantime, please feel free to use the comments section to tell us your position on foreskins and penises in general. Do you prefer circumcised or uncirusized penses? If it doesn’t matter to you, feel free to answer this question: If you and your partner had (or adopted) a baby, would you circumcise them?

Penises: Cut vs. Uncut

 About Men, Manly Mondays  331 Responses »
Dec 112006
 

Keeping with the tradition of “Manly Mondays” I thought I’d dedicate today to penises because, well, you know, men have them and women don’t. Penises. They’re everywhere. And, if you’re even 50% less naïve than I was the first time that I started seeing them, you probably all ready know that not all penises look the same. Uncircumcised penises (with foreskins) look quite different than circumcised ones. And—again, if you’re less naïve than I used to be—you probably all ready know that American men are circumcised, but most of their brethren in other parts of the world aren’t.

Yes, folks, it’s true: international hotdogs come with buns.

Besides appearance, of course–is there really any difference between cut and uncut? If you live outside of the US, tell me, are the men in your country cut? And, finally … cut or uncut – what’s your preference?

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