Before steering us to, OkCupid asks, “Always been curious about what stereotypes you may portray on your dating profiles?” This is how it works: they scan your profile and guess who/what you are based on what you wrote. I thought: Looks like they’re accepting some stereotypes as fact and guessing people portray them via words and actions (such as, for example, when writing their online dating profiles). So, I wondered: How would they stereotype me? Here’s what they guessed and the percentages by which they thought they got it right:

Check out by Roman Sinayev

Turns out I’m a lean, non-smoking, free-thinking, 31-year-old black man. [Looks inside panties, searches aimlessly for a cock and balls.] Their word cloud shows they think I’m a guy because, among other things, I mention soccer and women. Um, wow. Guessed I'm: Male

What would have made them think I have ovaries? According to the site, “Baking, heels, chapstick, boobs and a bubbly personality.” You can also see the words that made them guess I’m lean and a non smoker. Interestingly, my religion is sex. Guessed I'm: A Free Thinker & Not Religious

Well, hell; they got that right! ;) On a more serious note, I’m not sure why they peg people either “religious” or “free thinking.” It’s possible to be both; nevertheless, they predicted I was the latter (instead of the former) because I love of sex. You know who else loves sex? Black people. Guessed I'm: Black

Yep, the above words sealed my outing as a negro ;) Here’s what I wrote on my profile: “I’m not cool. I don’t know that indie band/DJ who plays at the obscure venue that doesn’t have a building number or nameplate posted outside […] I started partying when I was 15, so I’m really ‘over’ the club scene … but you can often find me at tiny, little, local bars where I know the bartender and/or half the waitstaff.” By the way, I also wrote: “I’m a writer who uses words like ‘lovely’ or ‘fascinating’ to describe things I find interesting, never ‘that’s dope.'” For the record, the funniest response received was from a preppy white dude who messaged me: “Your profile is dope!”

If you try out, use the comment section here to tell me how they got you wrong (or right).