Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s tousled, jet black mane frames a sexy little face.

It’s the hair. Figuratively drooling over heartthrob Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s dick, moms “feel sorry for that poor kid” and teen fangirls gush he’s “too beautiful to be a terrorist.” Everyone knows everything is bigger in Russia. Just in case anyone forgot, the guy Los Angeles Times calls the “ultimate ‘bad boy’” allegedly bombed the shit out of Boston. As The New Yorker reminds us:

When someone talks about the warm feelings she has for Tsarnaev because of his sweet face, we should treat this with the same wary understanding that we would give to someone who admits to caring more about those who have the same color skin. It’s an empathetic response, and a natural one, but hardly one to be proud of.

It would be too easy to write off as dumbasses those who find Tsarnaev sexy. People who think he’s cute aren’t necessarily stupid. They just think he’s innocent. Or, they don’t care (i.e. “So what? I can think he’s hot AND believe he deserves to die.”) Or perhaps, as noted above, they’re giving him a pass because he doesn’t “look” like a killer. This is how cognitive dissonance theory works: BieberCanHaveMyBeaver is 18 years old. She wouldn’t ever like a murderer because they’re bad people. She thinks Jahar is cute. Therefore, obvs, she knows Jahar can’t be a murderer. #FreeJahar! It’s weird. Leon Festinger wrote about it. Speaking of writing, Sheila Isenberg’s book Women Who Love Men Who Kill includes interviews with many lovers of the unlawful. According to Isenberg and others who write about serial killer groupies, captivity may be appealing because it delivers focused attention. Captive, he could be captivated by you.

Sexual attraction is as diverse and varied as admirers. Anyone claiming a single theory for Tsarnaev’s “cute” factor is likely lying to you. Besides, let us not forget, tons of people don’t find him at all appealing. It could be because he killed 3 people and wounded 264. Or, it could be his messy hair.