The Bigger D*ck Foreign Policy Theory

The Bigger D*ck Foreign Policy Theory

Sex, politics and religion never cease to be interesting. Avoiding conversations about these topics only makes mutual respect and understanding that much more unattainable. By now, you’ve likely heard about the events in Paris, where Daesh claimed responsibility for suicide bombings and mass shootings at three restaurants, Eagles of Death Metal‘s Bataclan concert, cafés Le Carillon and Comptoir Voltaire, and a soccer stadium. That’s some serious hateration. :( And all that came after the recent Beirut attack and others. Man, fuck that carnage. All. Of. It. While I don’t necessarily subscribe to George Carlin’s bigger dick foreign policy theory, I do believe there are some uncanny intersections along the roads to better sex and better foreign policy.

Remember prevention is key

When we’re not careful, good things can turn bad very quickly. War is arguably an unintended, negative outcome of failed diplomacy. STDs/STIs are usually unintended, negative health outcomes of unprotected sex. In either case, while I don’t think focusing on prevention is the answer it’s certainly a very important factor.

Change the conversation about health

Good health isn’t just about not being physically ill. We wouldn’t teach a nutrition class by only discussing foods likely to trigger diabetes. Likewise, we have to stop talking about sexual & reproductive health in a way that so commonly focuses on what we don’t want: rape, unintended pregnancies, and sexually transmitted disease or infection (STD/STI). Ditto for our country’s political strength & health. Let’s not solely define that by our abilities to bomb the shit out of others and cause destruction and instability.

You know, George Carlin famously said there are seven filthy words in the English language: shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. I’m not sure how he came up with this list—and why asshole and others aren’t on it—but, as Phil Harvey, wisely noted: five are about sex and the other two about excrement. Did you catch that? We’re trained to believe sex is, literally, dirty. Let’s change that: Sex is good and healthy.

Find comrades everywhere

Back to politics, as if there’s anything more political than sex. This piece is probably one of the most straight-forward explanations I’ve seen about why a modern, anti-Muslim Europe — or US for that matter — would be self defeating.

Comrades are everywhere. Find them. Support them.

I say the same thing to my fellow sexual freedom fighters, by the way. That sex education TV show in PakistanCatholics for ChoiceRepublicans for ChoiceMen Can Stop Rape? The National Task Force’s resource for welcoming and inclusive churches? Yes to all of them. We can’t alienate religious people, men, and/or others fighting the good fight alongside us.

Get Involved

I strongly support bedroom diplomacy. I’ve said: If my vagina was a passport, it would be stamped with colorful entries from faraway lands. Coitus aside, I started my career in Europe, working for the State Department at the American Embassy in The Hague. And that was many years after I’d already begun learning French in junior high, was a college student in Canterbury, England, worked and lived as an expat/immigrant bartender then a fashion gopher in London, and eventually landed in grad school in Florida  — where I wrote my culminating research paper, titled “When the Welcome Mat Is Removed”, about the rise of anti-immigrant sentiment in Western Europe.

In the years since, I’ve continued supporting internationalism by completing post-grad at Universiteit van Amsterdam and learning Dutch fluently. I’ve published a chapter on European immigration and I’ve managed & marketed international education programs for the University of Chicago and other institutions. Currently, I write about improving sexual and reproductive health in the US and abroad.

This is my life’s purpose: To promote judgement free, inclusive sex education and healthy interpersonal relationships. If you’re interested in more info, I have pages on this site where you can learn more about me and about FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. But, enough about me. Whatever your passion, use it to make the world a better place.

Back to George Carlin, God rest his soul and may he rest in power. He says: “It’s a subconscious need to project the penis into other people’s affairs.” He was talking about politics and war but, funny enough, the same could be said about American women’s health. So maybe it’s not so much about some bigger dick foreign policy theory as it is about taking a more equal, comprehensive approach to sustaining all of our wellbeing throughout our entire lives.